Many many books have been written about what women want. Movies have been made about it. TV show hosts have had experts talk about repeatedly.

Everyone wants to know what women want.

Recently I read a blog post where this women listed about 100 things she wanted in a man. Really it was a long long list.

I was amazed. No shocked actually.

What was she looking for? A life partner or a maid with a penis?

I think this is where the problem comes in. Women actually don’t know what they want. They make list upon list of things they want from a man. He must pick up his clothes, make her laugh, be ambitious, be home every night for dinner, make her laugh, be sensible, he must have money, he mustn’t be materialistic, he must be good looking, he must rub her feet, he must want kids.

Of course no man is going to be all that. We, as women, are setting him up to fail.

Recently in a discussion with a guy friend of mine about this very topic, he asked me so you want me to be funny, charming, cook and and and. He went on to list a few things. None of which I had actually even implied. My reply was “No I want you to be you – that is all”

I really mean that. It is not some schmaltzy cheesy thing I say to win the boys over. It is simply what I want. Because it is simply all I have to offer – who I am. Maybe he doesn’t cook, maybe he spends more time with his friends than I would like, maybe he isn’t the hottest boy in the box. But if he loves me and wants to be with me then surely that is enough?

I won’t deny that there are qualities in a man that I am attracted to. Like a sense of humour, intelligence, ambition, integrity. But I most certainly do not sit with a tick sheet and tick off the qualities he does and doesn’t have on date one.

Nature somehow has a way of working this out for us. While I am yet to find the right man, if I look back on the men I have successfully dated they all possess the same basic qualities, which are the things that are important to me.

I can also tell you a man who washes the dishes, makes me laugh, rubs my feet, is smart, blah blah but who isn’t true to himself, isn’t the man I want to be with.

Maybe it is a bit presumptuous of me to talk for all women, so I will say what I want from a man is for him to be himself (and like my kids).