So you’re at the bar on a night out and on the look out for available date material. Up comes an eye-catching specimen and you know they’ve made a beeline for you. This is it, this attractive looking person is about to open their mouth and sweep you off your feet with their wit, charm, intelligence and all-round fabulousness. In your head, you’re already planning date number four with them.
But then it happens. They throw you a line which bursts your bubble in an instant and leaves you at best deflated, at worst running for a taxi.
There are just some things not to say to someone if you’re trying to chat them up, frankly. Put some thought into your words and have some dignity, my friends. Let’s banish these flirt lines to the hills…
“Do you come here often..?”
Clichés don’t get bigger, so you fail your homework and go to the bottom of your class if you have to drag out this chestnut! Okay, so it’s not offensive, I’ll grant you, but you’ll certainly not win a prize for originality, or a date for that matter. And besides, where does it actually lead? A ‘yes, I come here a lot’ or ‘no, I’ve never been here in my life before’ answer is all very nice, but hardly helpful is it?
“I know I’m a bit tipsy but…”
There are few things worse than somebody slurring these words into your ear. You may have already spotted their drunken stagger as they approached, but to then get this line - well, it just takes the proverbial biscuit. Help them sober up fast; accidentally tread on their toe and then give them the cold shoulder.
“You have a nice smile”
Cheese. End of. Go and practice your fromage tactics elsewhere.
“We’d look good together”
If someone said this to me in an attempt to impress me, I’d be a bit freaked out. It just seems a bit of a personal statement to make when they’ve just clapped eyes on you, however well meaning or cheeky its intention. I’d think they were being a bit cart-before-horse-y and it would actually be a turn off.
“You remind me of….”
At the risk of sounding conceited, I’m me thanks very much. If the first flirtatious words out of someone’s mouth are likening me to someone else, I’d feel a bit short-changed! They’d be taking a gamble too, that you’d actually approve of their looky-likey observation. It could quite easily backfire and leave a deadening silence.
“My folks would love you”
My response (in my head at least) would be ‘oh my god, you’re a freakoid, leave me alone, or I’ll call security’.
“My mates dared me to come up to you”
This is never a good one is it? If someone utters this, you’re immediately on your guard for a band of sniggering pals watching your every move, whilst the person who said it to you fixes on your gaze, desperate in the hope that you won’t knock them back. In essence, flirting shouldn’t involve half your school friends.
“Don’t I know you from somewhere…?”
Why do people use this line, ever? It’s a bit disconcerting and annoying all in one, as 99% of the time they know they’ve never seen you before and are just trying to knock you off guard for that moment, when you go fumbling into the back of your mind to place them. In that moment, they make a further move on you and before you know it they’re a step closer with their drink next to yours. I say this one shouldn’t be allowed on the grounds of sneakines.
“You know you like me…”
No one likes a show off, however attractive they are.
“Fancy a snog..?”
The direct approach can sometimes be exciting, but ‘fancy a snog’ (or worst still) is just a bit tacky and an instant turn-off for most people, I would say. It suggests that the person is drunk, desperate, sad, a nymph - or indeed, all of the above - so give them a wide birth and let them go and slobber over someone else.
The next time you’re standing at that bar, watching that stranger approach you, keep these flirt lines at the forefront of your mind, and take my advice - only get it on with the person who avoids them!
