So there you are on your first date and your mind goes blank. Quick, what can you chat about? You’ve got another 3 hours to go. Whether the date’s going well or really badly, your conversational charm is everything when you meet someone for the first time. Get it wrong at your peril.
We all know the rule about certain ‘off limit’ topics of conversation. Politics, religion, fox hunting. But are there any others we should avoid on a first date? I say yes. When you’re frozen in that ‘what to say next’ moment, just try to remove any of the below from your repertoire and you should survive fairly intact.
Ex-partners
It may sound obvious, but steer clear of mentioning old flames. They are invariably stud-u-like body builder types or stunning female models aren’t they?
Avoid recalling past date experiences too. It’s never nice for your current date to hear about your past conquests or failures - they’ll find out themselves soon enough!
Criminal record
I’m guessing, on a first date at least, that your date would not want to hear about your 18 month stretch inside Feltham’s young offender’s institute, however ‘over it’ you are now. Save that juicy bombshell, as well as revealing any perps in the family, for about date four, to give yourself at least a fighting chance.
Family psychiatric history
If there’s ever a subject that has a ‘no no no’ rating on a first date, it’s this! Just the look on your date’s face when you talk about the ’sectioned’ brother or the ‘bonkers’ mum, should be enough to make you see sense. At best they’ll shuffle politely in their seat; at worse their dreams of beautiful, clever, well-adjusted children with you are sent packing into the ether.
Weddings
Nothing scares a person (male or female) more than a date who brings up the subject of weddings after the first sip of their drink. Why do it? It’s faintly desperate, or screamingly stalkerish, depending on how the moment takes you. Stick to chatting about holidays.
Nerdy hobbies you had when you were eight
We all had them, those embarrassing bead collections, sticker albums, trainspotting manuals. Childhood hobbies are infrequently cute. They are more likely to be downright sad, and reflect badly on your date-night cool.
Box-set collections
Rather like nerdy childhood hobbies, DVD box sets are dangerous territory to swim into on a first date, especially when you don’t yet know the tastes of the person sitting opposite you. Yes, you might get lucky - they might be as obsessed by The Good Life as you are - but face it, it’s unlikely. Hold off on revealing your penchant for Penelope Keith until date three. Trust me.
Death
Some people like to prattle on about death as they think it’s somehow intellectual or deep. It’s neither quite frankly, especially on a first date. Lighten up!
Medical problems
Yikes. Some people love to share tales of their illnesses, rashes and hospital check-ups. I can’t think of anything worse on a date as I tuck in to my chicken tikka masala. It instantly conjures up thoughts of contagion, poor hygiene, ailing old bones and all sorts.
‘Wacky’ parents
Have you ever met anyone who talks about their ‘wacky’ parents? I have. Their parents are ‘like their best friends, really they are’. Hmmmm, to me that rings alarm bells of the ‘touchy feely’ kind which frankly isn’t attractive and suggests you’d have to meet said parents and hug them in some kind of big family love-in by date two. No thanks.
Money
This should probably sit with the big ‘politics / religion’ subjects to avoid, but I reckon it’s worth a mention. There’s nothing more irritating than someone divulging how much (or little) they earn, and how much they aspire to earn when they get that amazingly well paid job in that amazing company. It’s all a bit cringeworthy.
So, daters take note. Some subjects are best left until at least date two, or best left out all together if you want to ‘up’ your pulling power. Holidays, sports, and the weather get you no points for originality, but will keep you safe on the perilous dating path.
