We all have those lists! You know those ones where we right down the things we want most in a man. Not just the looks list but the list of qualities. Most of these lists are pretty generic from women to women, I suspect. They probably go something like “smart, funny, loves kids” and depending on the time of the month you probably have “thoughtful and sensitive” in there somewhere too. You do hey?

Well I have been thinking and I think all that stuff we put on those lists is nonsense! Its stuff we think we want. Stuff they put on lists in movies where the boy always gets the girl.

So I have a new list. It’s a real list of the qualities we all really want in our most ideal man.

My ideal man must have the following. They are non-negotiable. He can’t have a plan to get any of these or try harder or whatever. He must possess them all on date one or there will be no date 2.

1.    Money – now that nonsense about not being materialist or just wanting enough to be comfortable is just that – nonsense. He has to have money. He has to be able to support me and a family. He doesn’t have to be Warren Buffet but he can’t be drowning in debt or live each month from pay check to pay check. Nope he has to have enough money to look after me.

2.    Car – seriously if you do not have means to transport me to where I need to be then honestly move onto the hippie, energy saving, hybrid car loving girl next to me. I have a car. It’s not a fancy car but it’s reliable and it goes. I do not want to have to play taxi to you. If we want to go somewhere I do not want to rely on the train or bus or taxi – I want to be able to go.

3.    Own place – You can’t be sharing a pad with your mother or brother or ex-girlfriend or slob friend. You need to have a place you can call your own and that we can escape to. I understand it will probably be a bachelor pad and that’s fine as long as it’s yours.

4.    Job – This is kind of important. It effects the above 3 things! I am a writer. I would love to write all day but food needs to be bought and bills paid so I can not turn into a struggling artist. Same for the man I choose to dad. Express your creativity, start your band but get a day job and be responsible.

Right those are all the material things now for the more touchy feely things.
5.    He must want kids. Any woman who says this isn’t an issue is talking nonsense. Women want kids. They want a family. So he has to want that too. If he doesn’t then I move along – swiftly! If he says “I want kids BUT want to get settled first” then you keep moving. He has to commit to kids now. If you decide to wait a few years then its fine but he can not have any “buts”

6.    He must be sensitive. But not in a push over cry with me kind of way. He must understand that I can be a tad over-emotional and irrationally and be able to deal with it by not giving in to me or patronizing me or being a total twit. He must not cry at movies or when I call him an ugly name. He must not whinge and whine about things. He is a man and must behave as such.

7.    Obviously he must be intelligent but not so intelligent he can recite the entire Encyclopedia Britannica over coffee. Just smart enough to be able to hold a decent debate on a wide range of topics and make me proud when we are out with my friends because he knows so much. He must not be arrogant about his smart-ness though!

8.    Assertive – a man who can not stand up for himself should honestly loose his man gender. I want you to be able to get us a table at dinner and not stand at the door as people push you out the way. I want you to protect me and fight for me – not physically beat people up though. I will possible have a bigger mouth than you but that does not mean I have to all the assertive-ness things.

9.    You have to be clean. Seriously dudes you need to clip your toenails, wash your hair, change your underwear. Simple things but vital to the successful fulfillment of being my man.

10.    And lastly he does need to have a sense of humor. But a moderate one. I don’t want to be walking around with someone who can make knock knock jokes about just about anything! Laughing is great but there is a time and place for it. So he can be funny but not so much so that it actually becomes sad!