I only discovered that dating has rules a few weeks ago – after dating for almost 2 years – which could possibly explain why I hadn’t had much success up to then! As much as we may want to think we’re so sophisticated these days, the rules that applied 20 years ago still apply today. So here they are the rules on dating:

Rule 1: Asking
If you want to go out with the person then it’s up to you to ask. You can try sending subtle hints about your eventless Saturday evening and how you are open to meeting new people, but men rarely get subtleties and women would probably think you sad for having an eventless Saturday evening. So just ask.

Rule 2: The First Date Venue
Choose somewhere public and casual. Do not suggest a 5 course meal at an overpriced French restaurant. It may sound romantic but you setting yourself up to fall. Find a quiet pub or cocktail bar so you can at least hear each other talk. If you want to do dinner, discuss a venue together. Do not choose a fish restaurant if you haven’t asked her if she eats fish or a steak house if you haven’t asked if she eats meat. I know one person who went on a first date and ordered veal – little did they know their date was a vegan!

Don’t go over the top with the first date

Rule 3: Arrival Time
I am one of those people who are anal about time so I am always on time. But I will admit I hate sitting on my own waiting for someone, especially if it’s someone I have never met before. If it’s a blind date nothing wrong with arriving a little late – by little I mean 5/10 minutes anything later than that is rude (unless you have a valid reason and did let them know)

Rule 4: The Bill
This is where I stomp out the flames of my burning bra and expect him to pay on the first date. I have been known to half-heartedly offer to pay my half but no one has dared taken me up on the offer! It doesn’t matter if you asked him – he still needs to pay for date 1. I am not going to justify this – it’s just how it is. But just in case do not order the lobster and champagne!

If you’re a bloke - you have to pay first

Rule 5: The Conversation
There are a few things you do not want to converse about – not on the first date anyway. First one being your ex. doesn’t matter how much you hate her or how much he broke your heart – your date doesn’t want to know. There is nothing worse than a date turning into a counseling session. Also steer clear of politics and religion. Yes they are important and yes you do need to know their views – just not on date one. If you have kids and your date doesn’t – then it’s highly unlikely they want to hear how Susie slept through for the first time or how Connor made a pee pee in the potty – save your excitement for your next play date! Also you may want to omit the fact that this is your first date in months. Other than that - chat away!

Rule 6: The First Kiss
Kissing on the first date is totally dependant on how the date went. I am a kisser. I love it so will generally kiss on the first date – not a peck on the cheek a proper kiss – tongue and all. But you can’t force it either – if it’s meant to happen it will. A kiss can tell so much about how the person feels about you – so if you can make it happen on date 1.

Just do what you think is right

Rule 7: Bedroom gymnastics
When to have sex? The million dollar question. My rule – when it feels right. Could be date one or it could be your wedding night. I have had guys plan date one around sex with food being and optional extra. Sex can mean different things to different people so before you do it make sure you are both on the same page about it and don’t do it if you don’t want to. Be sure to wear your date underwear and shave your legs though – who knows what may happen, so it’s best to always be prepared!

Rule 8: Calling
I want to say he is supposed to call but I kept burning my bra after rule 4. If you have something to say then call him. I never saw the point of sitting staring at your phone for two days eating your way through tubs of ice cream waiting for him to call? I was once told by a guy when I asked if he will call – “no we will call each other”. So there you have it – call each other!

Do you want to be staring at the phone for days on end??

Rule 9: Honesty
Probably the scariest and hardest dating rule. Be honest. Not just about the information you share. Be honest about what you want from a relationship. And if you say you would like to see him again – mean it. Don’t say it so you can get away and then ignore all his subsequent calls.

Rule 10: Have fun
Dating can be fun. It can be exciting. So relax and enjoy the moment. I have had many first dates (not so many second dates) and some have been so disastrous I have considered crawling under tables to escape without being seen. But most of them have been fun.

Dating has to be fun - that’s the whole point!!