Communication is, I am sure, the single biggest reason why relationships collapse. People do not know how to talk to each other beyond their jobs and whatever they are watching at that moment on TV. Apparently there’s more to life!
Make sure you deactivate the TV to communicate. TV’s rubbish
We get so caught up in daily life that we forget to stop and talk to each other about things that matter. We also have forgotten how to listen – really listen to what our partners are saying.
If you have just started a relationship with someone there generally is lots to talk about – it’s someone new, new things to learn and discuss. But very often it’s not that easy to actually keep the conversation going. This doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. It just means you need to make a little effort!
Is your relationship doomed? Will you be this happy when older?
Try following these tips and you should be just fine
Timing – timing is vital when it comes to conversation. You need to learn when to discuss what issues. When she walks in the door after a particularly rough day do not launch into a “can my mates come round to watch the Football on Saturday” conversation. She is likely to physically assault you or kick you out. Let her vent about her day and once she is calm continue the conversation. Even conversations about serious issues like the end of the world or the state of the economy need to be timed properly, otherwise you won’t get the desired results.
Tming is everything, if you have a day like this, probably best not to chat
Remove distractions – this isn’t always possible but where you can, focus on your partner. Turn the TV off. Put a CD on instead of the radio and focus on your partner. Switch your phone off or at the very least put it on silent. Listen to what they are saying. Take an interest – even if he is launching into a detailed description of the cricket game he played the night before. LISTEN to him. Learn enough about what interests him to be able to hold your own in a conversation with him about it. If your lives are busy and it doesn’t seem like you have time to do this – then set aside one evening a week as your ‘conversation night’ where you both touch sides with each other and just talk.
Take away distractions
Be clear – there is nothing worse than talking to someone who mumbles or is unable to talk clearly. There is also nothing more unproductive than having shouting conversations. You are in the kitchen, he is in the lounge and now you are trying to discuss the oil price. The meaning is bound to get lost and you are going to end up with a bad case of broken down telephones. So sit next to your partner, open your mouth, speak clearly and talk to him!
Speak clearly - not like this
Steer clear of hot topics – there will be topics within your relationship that cause conflict. Unless you are actively looking for a fight steer clear of these topics. They could be anything from her mother to his soccer team’s dismal performance. There really is no point in having these conversations with your partner unless they broach them – even then I would still not really carry on with the conversation. Rather stick to topics that will result in healthy debate and positive outcomes!
Steer clear of hot topics, like jumper colours
