Times have changed.  The teens (and pre-teens) of today are looking at dating differently than they were just a decade back.  Activities between boys and girls are changing rapidly, and some of them are not for the best.  It is hard for parents to keep up and still maintain control.  No matter how much things may have changed, it is still a good idea to set up rules for dating and to follow through on those rules.

Teenage life has changed alot - this is ‘factual’ show The OC

Seven Tips for Monitoring a Dating Life

1.    Begin talking now.  An open door of communication will make it easier to discuss issues before they become a problem.  Dating will definitely bring to light many, many issues.

Talk, talk and talk some more…

2.    Discuss how to ask for a date or how to accept (or decline a date).  Many parents take time to have the “sex” talk with their kids, but few parents talk about awkward social situations.  Share some of your own successes and failures in dating.  It will help the kids see you as a real person and it will make it easier for them to share with you along the way.

Let them know what dating was like back in your day

3.    Stick to group dates.  The best way for kids to get to know each other without the pressure of hormones is to do things with a group of friends.  Going bowling, skating or to play putt putt gives them time to talk and share and still maintains some distance between them.

Group dates - they’re cheaper for one!

4.    Ask questions – and lots of them.  It is important to know where you kids are going, who they are going with and what they will be doing.  Kids do lie, but the more you work to have open communication then the more likely they will be to tell the truth (and you will be to recognize a lie when it comes).

Sit them in that chair and grill them!

5.    Bring the date to your house.  Keep the activities in a central or public location in the home.  Offer to rent a movie, order take out or make finger foods.  Agree to be “out” of the room but also let the kids know that you will be aware of the room (like maybe in the room next to it).

Nothing wrong with getting them in the house…

6.    Go out with the family.  Family night is a great time for kids to date.  They get to know each other in a unique and unpressured setting and the parents also get to know the date.  Family dates should always be a prerequisite to any other date.

Just don’t be tempted to throw them into the water

7.    Set the rules up front so there are no surprises.  Before your kids even think about dating sit down and talk about what some of the rules will be:
a.    Age of the other person – there should never be too large of an age difference
b.    Safety issues – dating has become a violent activity for many teens who are bragging about the bruises.
c.    Acceptable date locations – where it is okay to go and any places where it is NOT okay to go.
d.    Check in procedures – set up allotted times when your kids need to check up with you while on their dates.
e.    Set a safety word – come up with a code that can be used when your kids are feeling uncomfortable or pressured so that you can “demand” they come home.  It gives them an excuse to get out of the situation.

Agree and set the rules

The age that a parent lets a kid date will vary on the person, the date and the parent.  It is important to have set rules and guidelines, but it is just as important to be willing to bend and flex a little.  There is no guaranteed path for raising kids that date.  The key is to have communication both ways to make the experience easy for everyone involved.