It’s no good trying to tell anyone ‘there’s more to meeting someone than looks’ because, while it may be true, looks are certainly the first thing we look at on an online dating website. Of course, age, personality and interests are important, but it’s also important to make the most of your own profile picture, so that you get the right message across and meet the right kind of people.
First we’ll start with what not to do. Everyone should avoid photos where you’re pulling a funny face. Sticking your tongue out or pouting is okay, but grimaces or overtly fake grins just obscure your face and don’t allow the visitor to see your real features. If you’re going to pull a flirty face, try and look into the camera and not away from it – who wants to see you flirting at someone else while they’re looking at your profile? Even subconsciously someone may be put off if they think you flirt with other people a lot. Also, avoid cleavage photos, i.e. the ones where you’re blatantly trying to show off your pecs or boobs. Leaning forwards with your upper arms pushing your boobs together looks terrible, and will make the visitor think twice about whether they’re the kind of person you’re looking for. With that said, don’t rule out photos where your chest is showing. As long as it looks natural (maybe you’re in a swimsuit or shorts) then it’s fine.
Despite what you might think, photos taken by yourself (arm outstretched, taken from above) are not hated, but make sure you adhere to the tips given above. Don’t make silly faces and don’t wear too low-cut a top. The best choice, however, is a photo taken by a third party when you’re not too blatantly posed. This means you’re likely to have more of your body on show, but the focus is still on your head – just like when you meet someone face to face. If you’ve got photos of you at a photoshoot then that’s fine too.
Talents and hobbies can be incredibly endearing and interesting to anyone viewing your profile, especially if they share them with you. If you ride horses, then don’t hesitate to upload a photo of you with your horse (best if you haven’t got a hat on obscuring your face) or a photo of you on stage with your band. If it looks like the photo has been taken by someone else then all the better. One taken by you, sitting on your bed gives little insight into what you’re like (unless you collect beds). Photos of people drunk out of their mind, or with their arms draped over mutually drunk friends have been shown to be fairly unsuccessful - care to hazard a guess at why? Okay, so it shows you’re fun and sociable, but it’s a pretty standard photograph subject and doesn’t make you stand out from the crowd.
As for smiling, it’s not totally necessary for everyone. Women smile more than men by their very nature and have evolved to smile to make men feel more protective over them. Nowadays women can care for themselves just as well as men, but it’s hardwired into our brains that women smile more and men less. For that reason, men who don’t smile in their profile photos won’t do well at all, and may in fact do better. Looking directly at the camera with a non smiling face, however, can look a bit cold and confrontational, so men are best off not smiling and looking to the side. Women, on the other hand, do well in photos where they give a natural smile and look straight into the camera as it shows their loyalty and confidence.
Bearing all this advice in mind, there’s no point in taking a photo of yourself doing something or pulling a pose that just doesn’t suit you. Your aim here is to give an insight into who you are and to attract that person you’re supposed to meet. How will that happen if you’ve taken a photo that reflects the opposite of your personality?
