I hate clichés! When people say to me “this too shall pass” or “there are plenty more fish in the sea” I can honestly take those fish and beat them over the head until the feeling passes. The key to looking and acting irresistible, however, is a cliché – it’s confidence.

Plenty more…no - don’t say it!!!

There is good news though, if you feel a little lacking in the confidence department – it can be faked!

The first man I was with when I re-entered the dating world was a powerful man. He was a lot older than me and a lot more experienced (like A LOT MORE) and I was petrified the first time we were together.

An experienced older man - something to be worried about?

I figured I had 2 choices, act like a self conscious school girl or pretend to be a sex goddess. So there I was shaking my hips better than Shakira and oozing more sex appeal than Angelina Jolie. And it WORKED! He thought I was the most irresistible women he had met. Three years later he still often texts me just to remind me what a sex goddess I am.

I also know though, we all feel like we could be a few kg lighter, or have bigger boobs or smaller boobs, a flatter tummy or smaller feet. My advice – let it go. Accept the body you have, make peace with it! It’s the one you have right now so own it and use it.

Even Megan Fox has days when she is uncomfortable about her body

While you’re letting it go though, I have some words of wisdom on how to help you feel and act irresistible. Find the right clothes! This isn’t necessarily the latest fashion. In fact it’s probably not the latest fashion. It’s the clothes that complement your personality and your body. I have items of clothing that are 3 years old – they have been in and out of fashion so many times already but they make me look good. I feel comfortable in them and that makes me irresistible. So throw out every single item of clothing you have that makes you feel fat or inadequate in any way and then go and buy clothes that make you feel fantastic. Also know what clothes suit your body. I love long gypsy skirts but the make me look like an upside down cupcake, so I steer clear of them. There is nothing more resistible than a girl squeezed into an outfit made exclusively for Naomi Campbell.

Bad clothes and you’ll always look terrible

Wear the right make up! Make up does not equal irresistibility so if you are going to wear it, do it properly. Spend some time finding the right shades for your skin and then learn how to apply it properly. I chose the path of least resistance and go au-natural and don’t wear make up but when I do, on the odd occasion I keep it simple. There is nothing worse than round circles of blusher on your cheek and eye shadow so blue and extensive it looks like you walked into a door.

Make sure you wear the right make up

Chose your shoes carefully! Nothing wrong with owning 600 pairs of shoes but make sure they fit you and that you can walk in them. There is nothing more off putting that a sexy girl trying to balance in her 30cm high, needle-thin heels! It’s not worth it. I love shoes so I know the temptation but stressing whether you are going to make it to the water cooler without breaking your neck is not going to make you feel comfortable and it’s certainly not going to make you irresistible. There is a shoes rule for men too – if you wearing black shoes do not wear white socks. That’s your only rule – try remember it please.

Can a woman have too many shoes??

Sexy underwear! I will admit I have a thing for sexy underwear. I own more sets of underwear than I do shoes. I believe every girl needs sexy underwear. Not just for date night – for everyday. Start with a classic black set and a white set and build from there. Guys notice! They notice the lace strap peeking out from your shirt and the top of the matching lace panty when you lean over. They notice the pink ribbon bordering your bra through the top button of your top. And it drives them wild. So make the effort – ditch the granny panties now! Guys this applies to you too. If I could I would burn every singe pair of underpants I could find! Boxers, boxers and more boxers! If you over 50 then please feel free to buy up all the stock of underpants. But if you going to ignore me and ditch the boxers please chose plain undies. Not paisley ones or polka dots or superman – sometimes plain is the way to go.

Can a woman have too many shoes??

Educate yourself about sport. No really!! You do not have to turn into Beckham’s biggest fan just know enough to hold your own in a conversation. It’s simple to do. Watch the sports report on the news while making dinner, read the sport headlines and listen to the conversations around you. If nothing else, when you add that you thought Massa drove a good race a couple of Sundays ago, you will get their attention and that’s what you want!

Knowing about sport is probably the most sexy thing you can do for a man

Know what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it! This goes for knowing what you want to eat at dinner to knowing which positions you like in bed. This applies to both guys and girls. I dated a guy who could not tell me what he liked in bed. He couldn’t make up his mind what he wanted for dinner or where we should go on a day out. I would choose places I knew he wouldn’t enjoy just to prove a point.

Make friends with the person in the mirror. She is your best friend and then go shake it like you just don’t care and you will be irresistible.