There are many ways to build self-confidence but the first thing to do is to look in the mirror and ask if you like yourself. You have to spend 24/7 with you, so liking yourself does make life easier and makes you much more confident about yourself.
If there are bits about yourself that you don’t like then start working on eliminating them, which will make you feel positive. Don’t worry if they still linger, even the most confident of people aren’t perfect. Think about the bits that you do like about yourself and focus on them. It may be a skill that you have or an activity that you’re good at. Don’t be shy; tell yourself that you’re above average and that you’re proud to shine at whatever. It may be that it is an attitude or a facet of your personality that people like and admire. Your manner may be soothing, you may have a smile that cheer your co-workers each morning or you could be the one that your friends phone for a willing ear. The important thing is to recognise your strengths and not to belittle them if others do too. Accept compliments gracefully. Learn to smile and say thank you when someone admires your new dress. Don’t say ‘What, this old thing I just threw on?’
Think positively. Listen to the voices in your head and if you hear lots of don’ts, cant’s and shouldn’ts, delete them and make up other phrases that are much more assertive. Think, why not? I can, I will.
Eat a healthy diet. A fresh complexion, shiny hair and clear eyes will give you so much more confidence because when you feel good, you look good. Eating the proper food will give you the right amount of energy too, which is important. Ensure that you get at least 7 hours of sleep every night. Take part in some form of exercise. It doesn’t have to be the gym and working out, it could be walking the dog or climbing the stairs at work rather than use the lift. One of the main reasons that people are dissatisfied with themselves is because of their bodies. That’s one you can eliminate with a mixture of healthy eating and exercise.
You’ll be amazed at how good you feel about yourself when you achieve something. It doesn’t have to be a huge achievement; even a little one will boost your self-confidence. If you are nervous about your maths, take a course either through open learning or at a night class. You never know, once you conquer your fears you could go on and take further qualifications. Even clearing out a spare bedroom that you’ve meant to do for ages will give you a quiet sense of contentment.
Walk tall, as this actually makes you feel confident. If you slouch or walk along with your eyes to the ground, people will respond to you as they would to a nervous tense individual. By appearing confident, others will speak to you in a confident manner. Smile and make eye contact. If you find the notion of looking directly into other people’s eyes too discomfiting then look instead at the bridge of their nose, which is much less stressful for you. The person will not realise and think that you are maintaining eye contact.
Smiling makes you look open and friendly and actually relaxes your muscles, which in turn makes you look calm and confident. Be aware of your movement and gestures, don’t play with your hair or wring your hands, as this will make you look tense and nervous. Keep you hands far apart and your palms upright, as this will make you appear honest and open. Remember, the trick is to look calm and confident; it doesn’t matter how you feel inside. Practice looking confident - one day, it will be a natural state for you.
Hang around people that are confident; the positive vibes are infectious and will rub off on you. If you have people who have a negative effect on you or make you feel unhappy then ditch them, or if that is impossible (if the person is your mother-in-law, for example) then try and spend less time with them or if possible don’t talk to them often. If you do feel that somebody uses you or speaks to you in a way that you don’t like, do something about it. Just say to yourself I am a worthy person and I deserve to be treated with respect. Then go to the person and look them in the eye and just say very quietly and calmly, ‘I don’t like the way that you use me or speak to me’. Don’t apologise, don’t giggle in a nervous kind of way, stay cool and calm, at least on the outside. Inside you may be quivering but as long as you look in control, confident then the person will look at you in a new light. Sticking up for yourself in this way takes practice but the more you do it, the easier and more natural it will become. One day it will be second nature to you.
Many people will act negatively towards you because they are jealous of you, even though you may be unaware of their feelings or even the reason for this emotion. Learn empathy, so then you can understand and sympathise with their feelings as negative feelings do stem from lack of self-confidence.
Have a great time learning about yourself and do lots of things that make you feel good. Join groups and clubs where you’ll meet people, read a book about positive thinking and body language and practice the tips as often as you can.
