Lilly Allen has a song out about how this guy has everything – he is the perfect guy until he gets into the bedroom.

It was important enough of an issue for her to write a song about so it must be rather important in terms of a relationship, right? RIGHT!

I am a very physical; sexually person and I need that to be reciprocated in a partner. So for me, sex is important. And it obviously has to be sex that satisfies.

Lily is wise in the ways of life.

I can, begrudgingly, accept that sex doesn’t have to blow your mind every time you have it but it does have to satisfy – every time. You have to, as a couple, be sexually compatible.

Sex is more than just the physical pleasure. It is more than just satisfying a need. It is about the intimacy and closeness of being physically joined to the person you are with. If you aren’t able to connect on that level, to understand each other, then it does leave a big gap in the relationship.

I have a very high sex drive, higher than most women I know. For the most part, the men I have been with have been able to keep up – some have needed a little more motivation than others but it is rare that I have been left unsatisfied. But when it did happen, it did cause a rift in the relationship. He felt inadequate as he was very aware of what I needed and even more aware that he couldn’t fulfil that need 100%. I tried very hard to be understanding but it did little to reassure him.

While it may not be the most important aspect of a relationship and one that can be worked on and improved, it is a very big part. If you don’t feel wanted or desired by your partner and if he isn’t able to touch you the way you need to be touched or listen to what you need sexually then what separates you from his girl friends?

This is not sexy.

Imagine a relationship where there is an awesome intellectual connection but very little physical spark! One where “wham-bam-thank you man” is about as good as it gets. Or when he carries on like a battering ram without considering the effect on you. A relationship where you have to literally beg for a little action once a week.

Whether you are highly sexual or not, sex is an important part of what joins a couple. It is special intimate moments that tie a couple together. It is moments only they will ever share. It is important then that your partner is on the same page as you. Someone who, even if it isn’t perfect, is willing to work on it. To adapt and adjust and learn and listen so that it can become perfect and fulfilling for you both.

So sex is important. Being compatible is important.