Dating is a battlefield at the best of times - it can be hard enough meeting someone new that doesn’t have a secret troll collection - but the real difficulties come once you’ve met the potential ‘one’. You want them to know you’re interested, but you don’t want to appear desperate, you want to call, but maybe they should call you first? You feel lost, slightly panicked, and your hormones are out of control. Enter ‘The Rules’.

There are a million different books on the subject of dating, all with their own set of commandments. Granted, some of the rules are mere common sense and can work, but most of them time we spend our time deciding between conflicting sets of rules which not only results in confusion, but completely crazy behaviour that makes you appear more impatient than aloof.

I think its high time to put some of the top dating ‘rules’ on trial in the court of common sense.

1. Be unavailable

This is one rule I have never understood. If I can’t reach someone I really want to speak to I get annoyed, not turned on. I’ll maybe call them a few times and if they are constantly ‘busy’ or they don’t pick up, I don’t go shopping for engagement rings and timeshares in Boca, I just stop calling. The original idea with this one was obviously ‘don’t look desperate’ but does going to the other extreme make you seem less crazy? No! Be sensible, people - if they ask you on a date and you want to go, say yes! Don’t turn it down because you want to seem busy and popular when in reality you’d spend the night watching The Hills with your best friends Ben & Jerry.

2. Always leave them wanting more

This is so bizarre its almost amusing. The rules would have you think that if a date is going well, you should make an excuse and hotfoot it out of there early to leave your companion craving more of your company. The idea being that he or she will be so wild with desire to spend more time with you that they call you immediately to arrange another rendezvous. The reality? They will either just think you are rude or that they did something wrong to make you flee. Again, it’s common sense: if you’re having a good time on a date, show the other person that by staying present throughout its entirety.

3. The man has to pay

This is a tough one, and everyone has a different opinion. I’m not a raging feminist, but I find this one both insulting to the woman and also slightly unfair for the man. Women will happily complain that they sometimes get treated differently, that they earn less than a man for doing the same job, that they are not treated as equals. Then they go out to dinner and expect the other person to pay simply because of their gender. I’m not saying that its wrong for a man to pay, if that works for both of you, thats fine, but I suppose its the double standard of a lot of women that kind of irks me. You can’t have it both ways. Personally, I think its nice that a guy might offer to pay, but I always want to pay half. You have to tread lightly with this one, because some men really do feel offended if a woman doesn’t accept their offer, so this is one to call based on the situation you find yourself in. If you have mutually decided to go for a meal together then in my opinion women should at least offer to pay half. If the other person has asked you to go somewhere with them as their date and you otherwise wouldn’t have gone, then sometimes they might feel more comfortable paying. Use your judgement.

I could sit here all day going through the thousands of ‘rules’ we have invented for ourselves when it comes to dating, but I would not only spend years doing it, I’d also have no time to go on dates myself. The bottom line, as with most things in life, is common sense. The ability to see through the haze of hormones and excitement surrounding you when you meet someone new is the one ‘trick’ that will really serve you well when it comes to successful dating. The only rule you should listen to? Use your own judgement.